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Mama Care Monday: Keeping Calm

8:14:00 AM



Over this past weekend working at a really busy, popular street fair in JC, I learned something about myself that I didn't think I was capable of.........and that was controlling my inner rage and anger. My close friends and family who know, love, and take me as I am, understand how I can sometimes have a short fuse and flip when I get really charged and aggravated. The unfortunate thing is that it doesn't take much to get me there, so when I shared space with a neighboring booth mate this past Saturday at the street fair, and this person was extremely rude, aggressive, and short tempered, directing some of that negative energy my way, surprisingly I didn't react nor engage???!  Me who normally while driving if I feel someone is driving too slow or in my way, etc....I usually respond with road rage, annoyed and upset. This time in this current situation, I was extremely proud of myself for taking the path of least resistance. I decided to be about my business, forge ahead, and I had a great day of sales.
I am sure at this point you are probably wondering what this has to do with self-care and mamas taking care of themselves?...... Well, it dawned on me and I realized in that moment, this individual was "mirroring" and showing me what it looks like to hold anger and how unhealthy it is. In one breath I am teaching my daughter to speak nicely to others and speak with "honey" to people and her friends and it's me who needs to take that same advice. Yes, it's no secret that having pint up aggression isn't the healthiest, however when I had the chance to see it played out in front of me via another individual, I realized not only is it unattractive, but I felt at the moment how heavy anger and aggression weighs on me and takes a physical toll. As I am getting older, I don't have the luxury of continuing non-beneficial behavior without experiencing some "side effects".


When I get stressed, triggered, and upset, my cortisone levels rise and sometimes I get snappy and don't speak with "honey" and if I am constantly saying I want to change, I need to be the change I want to see. Simultaneously, how can I tell my daughter to behave a certain way and I don't follow what I say? 

Although it was momentarily unpleasant having to be around that individual on Saturday, I am still thankful for the experience and for having the opportunity to use a different "tool" in my emotional toolbox and respond by not responding. Stress and anger can be blinding to anyone but as a mother having to maintain work, home, kids, and dealing with a busy preschooler and her constant needs, trust there are going to be times when I get super triggered and reach my limit. However, as the popular saying goes, 90% of what happens to you is how you react to it. With that said, remember mommies to take care of yourself, all aspects of yourself, so that you may continue to take care of others. Until next Monday......

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